A New Hope
by LunaCangiante
Summary: Songfic, Broken Iris A New Hope. FOC's thoughts on Alistair Sacrificing Himself... Oh by the way there may be a spoiler or two... R&R. Reviewers get cheese


Okay so this little idea farted out of my brain after I sat down and listened to a little Broken Iris (anyone who doesn't know about that band needs to Youtube the shit out of them they are EPIC). So without further ado because I really want to get on to the story I give you my story. MOVING ON...

Disclaimer: Ugh I wish I owned anything. But I don't, so no pressing charges. Bioware owns the game and Broken Iris wrote the song. Okie dokie? Awesome

_**A New Hope...**_

_To your grave I spoke,_

_Holding a red, red rose._

_Gust of freezing cold air,_

_Whispers to me that you are gone..._

The sun is shining brighter than it should have been for such a cold day. The wind is sharp as knives as it brushed past my face and runs through my hair like icy fingers, as though it is trying to drag me in the opposite direction. '_Stop doing this to yourself,_' it orders in a passing whisper. I do not listen, but it tries still. '_He's gone, let him go..._' My thumb keeps grazing over brittle petals, it's a much needed comfort right now.

_Always, always asking the question why_

_Life is overrated, but I_

_Never, never expected that I'd_

_Underestimate my love for you..._

So much had changed in the last year hadn't it? Once I would cut down anything in my path that stood in my way, and today I'm here pleading to the Maker to return your life to me. I still need you here with me. I thought I hated you, but how can I bring myself to hate the greatest thing that ever happened to me? My one and only love, despite what you did at the Landsmeet.

The heart plays such cruel games sometimes.

_To your grave I spoke,_

_Holding a red, red rose._

_Gust of freezing cold air,_

_Whispers to me that you are gone..._

One of the petals tear from my thumb pressing harder on the sensitive flower. It falls lifelessly to the ground and for the first time since you left me, I actually notice it. Is it wrong that I cannot help but slightly chuckle at the irony that you gave me **your** flower? You always had a funny way about double meanings. Isn't that why I had your flower in the first place? To any other (except maybe Leliana), this was just an ordinary rose. But to you, there was something behind it, some deeper meaning. "_A rare and wonderful thing you are,"_ you said to me. I was a rare and wonderful thing...

Why are you gone Alistair? Why did you have to die?

_Always, always just out of reach from my,_

_Over frustrated, shameful hands and I,_

_Never, never expected that I_

_Would ever, no never, plead for credit or precious time..._

"_I'm not giving up on us,_" I told you. I guess you made that pretty impossible. We were Grey Warden's first and I was so stupid to forget that. I was so wrapped up in the fact that you left me after _I_ made you King of Ferelden against your wishes. I know you practically begged me not to sentence you for the rest of your, already short, life by thrusting you into a life that you never wanted. Why didn't you stop me? Why didn't I listen? I lost you out of stubbornness. Or perhaps out of spite to Loghain and Anora, and perhaps I have your approval for that. But it will never change what happened, you will never come back. After everything; your courage, your strength, and your sacrifice I will be the hero and you'll just be the dead king.

_To your grave I spoke_

_Holding a red, red rose._

_Gust of freezing cold air,_

_Whispers to me you're gone..._

Wynne offered to immortalize your rose. I should have taken her on the offer but I just couldn't. It's such a hard and sad thing to watch something so beautiful die in front of you. But, I keep it with me because it reminds me of you. Underneath the brown flakey petals, there was once beauty. While it may now lay limp and dead, there was once strength and life.

What a rare and wonderful thing it was indeed.

_Spent a lifetime holding on_

_Just to let go._

_I guess I'll spend another lifetime  
Searching for a new hope..._

This last year has really been overwhelming has it not? And yet in between everything, the fighting, the army, the stupid nobles, I had you to hold on to. Damnit Alistair, of everyone we lost that day, why did you have to be one of them. Do you have any idea what you've done to me? I have to spend the rest of my life, whatever is left now thanks to you, looking for something else to hold on to. What should it be then, the Grey Wardens? The rest of Thedas? Should I keep Anora in check because, against everything we've worked for, she's ruling Ferelden?

_To your grave I spoke_

_Holding a red, red rose._

_Gust of freezing cold air,_

_Whispers to me you're gone._

_Spent a lifetime of holding on_

_Just to let go._

_I guess I'll spend another lifetime,_

_Searching for a new hope..._

I cannot take this anymore Alistair. It kills me that I lost you, because you so selfishly wanted to kill the archdemon. Did you get everything you wanted? You're no longer the king, and you don't have to fix things up with me anymore. You just made sure all of your grounds were covered didn't you? You even lied to me about the ritual with Morrigan! Just so I would allow you to kill the damned thing! It should have been me! I earned it more than you did! You just sat around and followed orders! I deserved to rest after everything! Now I've been reduced to tears by some stupid man because he made me feel so happy that I forgot what the world was like without him! Damn you Alistair Theirin, you stupid bastard! You royally stupid bastard! How could you?

What am I to do now? I cannot replace you, I will not try.

What am I to do?

(A/N: HA that's a strange and I'm kind of leaning on a this and that way as to whether or not I liked it. If you haven't guessed, yes this is a strange part 2 of Frozen. But you don't really have to read it to get this story, it's just kind of there. If you're wondering why I wrote it so weird with a lot of contradicting emotions "she said one thing and then the complete opposite" it was on purpose. If someone you loved just died right in front of you and blantantly said it was for you, wouldn't you just jump on a roller-coaster of emotions? I think you would. I would and that's why I wrote it. So there. Well you all know the drill, read, review, and remember: I love you!)


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